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Author Topic: The Clowns Are Falling Apart  (Read 123054 times)

Giolazio

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The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« on: July 28, 2010, 11:42:28 PM »

WARNING! THIS AREA HAS BEEN CONTAMINATED BY A BAD BATCH OF PEPPERONES...ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Smell?


This topic is dedicated to the never ending decline and humiliation of our dear cousins....

....THE CLOWNS WILL NEVER STOP FALLING APART


wuuzzzzzzzzzzzupppppppppppppppp ppppp?????????????????

Topic performed by GioLazio LFTeam
« Last Edit: July 29, 2010, 10:10:32 PM by Giolazio »
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Giolazio

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2010, 11:48:58 PM »

...Ma Quanti Tituli???







Quote from: Bobbi
Zerooooooooooooooooooooo titoliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiii  :D


Quote from: Conn
To Rosella Sensi, who in a interview in December said "despite the fact I like playing the derby, I would love to see Lazio relegated"

To  Daniele De Rossi, who during an interview, when the journalists was asking questions about asroma, deliberately started to mock Lazio fans saying in TV live "you know, today I look at the table and I'm crying... I am so sad about what has just happened at Olimpico... I'm really sad" [he referred to Lazio defeated at home by Bari, our lowest this season]

To Francesco Totti, who after having wished us relegation, publicly insulted Lazio and her fans with his famous "relegation sign" thumbs down, which he repeated in both derbies.

To all the Roman media, who attacked Lazio and her fans after Lazio-Inter crying at the scandal, but on the other hand failed to see the ridiculous performance or asroma opponents at Bari-asroma, asroma-Atalanta, asroma-Cagliari, and Chievo-asroma.

To Massimo Mezzaroma, Siena and her fans, who promised a 2millions euro prize to his players to stop Inter; who have played today the "match of life", like they were playing the UCL final; who have celebrated asroma goals announced on the big screens.

To all asroma fans who spent one entire season wishing us Serie B; who celebrated their victory at the derby as a scudetto; who put their flags out after defeating us and celebrating already the scudetto

To Caressa F., Mangiante A., Ferraiolo G, Sannipoli F., Mughini G, Lotito C., Zampa C., Gasparri M., Cerqueti G., Aragozzini G., Amendola C.

ATTACCATEVE AL CAZZO. We didn't get relegated... and, mostly, you have won UN CAZZO this season too!


Quote from: Max_Cady
Mourinho: "Due tituli per noi, uno per la Lazio e zero per gli altri…"


Quote from: Cash
ZERUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU TITUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIII!




Roma-Sampdoria=1-2 - Doppietta Pazzini


...and on the beach in Rome

Vola aereo vola
« Last Edit: July 28, 2010, 11:52:20 PM by Giolazio »
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Giolazio

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2010, 07:50:43 PM »

Guess what happens when La Rioma play Man U???







7?





Who is this Titti guy??











Totti misses penalty kick


Grazie Liverpool...








« Last Edit: July 29, 2010, 07:52:25 PM by Giolazio »
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Giolazio

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2010, 07:56:49 PM »

La Roma e....











Il Derby?

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Giolazio

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2010, 08:55:00 PM »

A Lazio fan, an Inter fan and an AS Roma fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: “It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”

The Inter fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: Please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Inter fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The AS Roma fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: “Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back.” But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Lazio fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: “You has shown a good attitude and your club has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!” “Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness”, The Lazio fan replies. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.” “Not only you are an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave. “ The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?” the Sheik asks.

“Please tie the AS Roma fan to my back.”

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Two old Lazio fans were holding up the queue outside the Olimpico turnstyle before the game, while one of them hunted for his ticket. He looked in his coat pockets and his waistcoat pockets and his trouser pockets, all to no avail. 'Hang on a minute,' said the gateman. 'What's that in your mouth?' It was the missing ticket!

As they moved inside his mate said, 'Come on! You must be getting senile in your old age. Fancy having your ticket in your mouth and forgetting about it!'

'I'm not' that stupid,' said his mate. 'I was chewing last week's date off it'.

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What did the Merda fan do when his team won a European trophy?

Turned off the Playstation and fooled around with his sister...

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Zlatan, Kaka and Totti went one night to eat some Chinese in Milano.
At the end of the meal, the waiter came with the bill and ask 'Pay now pay now please!'

Zlatan took his jacket and saw he forgot his wallet, Kaka replied the same, and Totti, well he didn't knew what a wallet was for.

So Zlaten called the waiter back, and said 'Look, we've forgotten our wallets, but as you can see, we are 3 big football stars, so if we give our signatures and some pics with you guys here, we call it even, OK?"

'No way no way' said the Chinese waiter 'here only Chinese way to solve problem !'

'And what's that?' asked Kaka.

And the Chinese waiter replied : 'Well, you and you and you, get your dick out, I will measure it and when total of all 3 dicks together is 20 inch, you no pay, you no pay and you no pay!'

'Oh righty, easy' said Zlatan, he dropped his pants, and the waiter measured 'Ohhh, big one, you 10 inch good boy good boy !'
Then Kaka unzipped his, the waiter measured 'Ohh, good one, you 9 inch ! Good good, total 19 inch, so 1 inch to go !'
So the last was Totti and he dropped his pants, and the waiter looked 'Ohh no good you no good, but I measure 1 inch... so 10 + 9 + 1 is 20 inch ... ok for me, you no pay tonight !'

The 3 left the restaurant and outside Zlatan and Kaka were laughing with Totti's little pecker.
But Totti replied 'Just shut up, stop laughing, you guys must thank me.
You were very very lucky tonight to get out without paying'

'Why ?' asked Kaka

'Well' said Totti 'thankgod my dick was hard as hell !'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On their first night together, Newlywed's Totti & Tottina go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. Totti beaming proudly says

"My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."

Tottina opens her robe, and Totti is astonished.

"Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture"

Puzzled Tottina asks, "My picture?"

He answers,

"Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and this time Tottina asks,

"Why do you wear a robe? We are married now."

At that comment Totti opens his robe.

Stunned and shocked, Tottina exclaims, "oh, oH, OH MY GOD, LET ME GET A PICTURE!!!".

TOTTI beams and says,

"Is it so you can carry your beauty next to your heart forever aswell?"

"No Francesco" she says "Its so I can get it enlarged!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Pope, Delio Rossi, Spalletti and Mourinho are sitting in a hot air balloon flying over the Roman skyline.

Mourinho takes out his wallet, takes a 500 € banknote and drops it down : 'Look, I've just made one man happy doing this.'

Spalletti takes out his wallet, takes two 500 € banknotes and drops it also down : 'Now look guys, I've just made two guys happy doing that'

The Pope stands up, looks over the city, mumbles a bit and blesses it : 'Now look, I've just made the whole city of Rome happy...with no money.'

Delio looks at the Pope and then looks at the other two :'Hmmm, ok, now it's my turn.'
He grabbed Spalletti by his colar, lifts him up and throw him out of the balloon, down to the city.

'What are you doing ?' shouts the Pope.
'Well' Delio replied 'I've just made half of the city happy doing this, and now I'm gonna make the rest of Italy happy !'

'How ?' asked Mourinho.
Then Delio grabed The Special One by his colar, lifts him up and throw him out of the balloon, down to the city.

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Luciano Spaletti walks into a bar with his pet monkey name Totti, sits down and orders a drink. Shortly after, Totti starts jumping all over the place and acting crazy. Totti grabs some olives off the bar and eats them… grabs some sliced limes and eats them… then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at Spaletti, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” “No, what?” says Spaletti. “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!” says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he eats everything in sight. Quite an appetite. I’ll pay for the cue ball and other things he ate.” He the finishes his drink, pays the bill, and leaves. Two weeks later Spaletti is back at the same bar again, Totti by his side as usual. He orders a drink and Totti starts running around the bar again.

While the Spaletti is drinking, Totti finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did?” “What this time?” asks Spaletti. “Well, he stuck a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies Spaletti. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures it first!”

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A blind rabbit and a blind skunk run into each other in the woods one day.

"Who are you?" asked the rabbit.

"I don't know, I'm blind" replied the skunk.

"So am I!" replied the rabbit, "Why don't we feel each other all over and try to guess what we are".

The skunk went first. "You're really furry with big floppy ears and a wee bobbed tail. You're a rabbit!"

Then the rabbit took his turn, "You've got very wirey hair, horrible greasy skin and you really stink. Your a fu.cking Roma supporter!"

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Giolazio

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2010, 08:58:39 PM »

Striscia La Notizia

Totti's award for the record of most derby defeats....

Striscia la Notizia - Staffelli consegna il Tapiro a Totti che rosica[E' record 12 derby persi]


In English:

Staffelli: Mr Totti, how are you doing! We came to bring you this nice Golden Tapirus... you know why? Because you are a record-man... you lost 12 derbies!

Totti: Twelve???

Staffelli: Twelve derbies!... Didn't you count them?

Totti: No... they seem too many...

Staffelli: It's a nice record, don't you think?

Totti: A negative one... it seems strange, to lose from them ... it seems strange.

[Then they speak about the fights in the pitch, with totti who apologizes for the bad example they gave.]

Staffelli: It looks like roma will sell many players at the end of the season, many will leave... what will you do?

Totti: They will sell me too (laughing). I don't think we will lower the technical level of the team.

Staffelli: What about the players who will leave?

Totti: Let's wait... it's a decision from the management of the club

Staffelli: Totti to AC Milan... to Inter Milan?

Totti: No, no... I am not a madman.

Staffelli: Sooner or later you'll have to give up football...

Totti: more "sooner" than "later"...

[Then they speak about Ilary becoming more famous than him as he gives up playing]

At the end, you can hear the voice of the guy running the Striscia la Notizia show saying: "Totti, how did it go with Lazio? Four... and back home! "

Totti's Derby Defeats:

06/03/94 Lazio 1-0 Roma (6' Signori)
23/04/95 Roma 0-2 Lazio (30' Casiraghi, 71' Signori)
18/02/96 Lazio 1-0 Roma (84' Signori)
01/11/97 Roma 1-3 Lazio (47' Mancini, 57' Casiraghi, 84' Nedved)
06/01/98 Lazio 4-1 Roma (2' Boksic, 32' Jugovic, 75' Mancini, 80' Fuser)
21/01/98 Roma 1-2 Lazio (45' Jugovic, 94' Gottardi)
08/03/98 Lazio 2-0 Roma (50' Boksic, 62' Nedved)
25/03/00 Lazio 2-1 Roma (25' Nedved, 28' Veron)
06/01/05 Lazio 3-1 Roma (29' Di Canio, 74' Cesar, 84' Rocchi)
10/12/06 Lazio 3-0 Roma (44' Ledesma, 52' Oddo, 73' Mutarelli)
19/03/08 Lazio 3-2 Roma (44' Pandev, 57' Rocchi, 92' Behrami)
11/04/09 Lazio 4-2 Roma (2' Pandev, 4' Zarate, 58' Lichtsteiner, 85' Kolarov)
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Amir

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2010, 01:41:39 AM »

I know it is just a friendly, but dew moments ago gialorosi were beaten 5-1 at the hands of Olympiacos!

Hahaha
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AVE LAZIO - Popolus tuus te acclamat

Giolazio

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2010, 01:19:55 PM »

That's the kind of form i want to see them head into the new season with!  :wow:
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Killer89

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2010, 06:55:47 PM »

Lovely topic !  :stendrm:
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Cathal

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Re: The Clowns Are Falling Apart
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2010, 03:07:37 PM »

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